In 1720 Sir Isaac Newton owned shares in the South Sea Company, the hottest stock in England, and sold them at a %100 profit. A couple of months later, getting caught up in the emotions and huge enthusiasm of the market, Newton bought back in at a much,much, higher price......and lost about $3 million dollars. He refused to let anyone speak about it around him for the rest of his life.
Newton was a brilliant man. By conventional standards, widely considered one of the most intelligent people who ever lived. However, as an investor, he was a fool(at least in this instance). Luckily, it wasn't something he let define him.
How often are you using your mistakes as a definition for who you are? Instead of understanding that failure is a part of growth, are you assuming that you are inherently flawed? Thinking that there is no changing the misfortunes that come, in fact, you deserve them?
I am a mistake, not I made a mistake.
I am a terrible person, not I did something terrible.
I reacted like an asshole, not I am an asshole.
You are the easiest person for you to fool- so when you tell yourself that you are worth nothing, or define yourself by your worst experiences, you believe it. This type of feeling is infectious, it seeps through everything you are and bleeds into your self confidence. Swiftly becoming quicksand.
Self pity parties are great to soothe our wounded egos, and can feel amazing. Therein lies the trap, self-pity is highly, highly addictive, and if we aren't careful, can become our default emotion any time something doesn't go our way. Adversity becomes a catalyst. Little problems become huge issues. A snowflake feels like an avalanche.
Getting out of these habits is hard work. We have to work on how we speak to others, how we set our days up, and especially how we talk to ourselves. Just like starting to work out, learning to be positive takes effort, consistency, and often, a change of what you surround yourself with.
What in your daily life is infecting your attitude? Dragging you down? How often are you counting your blessings? How much energy are you putting into what's right in your life, instead of putting your focus on what is missing?