I always tell stories about how my parents came up with clever ways to punish us. "If you are going to waste my time, i'm going to waste your time," my father would say.
However, before it got to that stage my parents would sit me down and talk through what happened step by step to see my thought process. Making sure that I knew it was wrong, and still did it anyways.
(Parents, want to see your kids paralyzed with fear and indecision? Ask them "So you knew it was wrong, and you still did it anyways?" They are stuck in between refuting the story they just told you and admitting that they did it on purpose. Try not to laugh.)
Once they knew I understood where I went wrong, then I would get whatever punishment they concocted.
Example: I get home, my father hands me a teaspoon and a ruler. "You're going to dig a 1ft cube in the backyard, measured perfectly. If it isn't perfect, you are going to fill it back up and dig another." It was a long day.
There is a difference between abuse and discipline. Whether it's emotional or physical, abuse is never okay. Abuse also includes letting someone take advantage of your temperament, patience, work ethic, hospitality, etc.
I'm a firm believer in not letting other peoples BS (.......bullshit if you were wondering) change who you are as a person. Along those same lines, don't let others actions undermine who you are trying to become. In your professional, personal, and family life.
It is just as important to explain WHY something is wrong as it is to speak up. Without understanding, there is no growth and you shouldn't expect a different result.